tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-53414362011-04-21T16:41:25.185-07:00Anecdotes from the Call CenterAdriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comBlogger351100tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1091751172891972972004-08-05T17:09:00.000-07:002004-08-05T17:12:52.890-07:00

Case #37: 5 August 2004 So today's moron was having problems downloading some software from a link we sent him. Due to an error on the part of the last rep he spoke to, the link was broken up into two lines.Now... our moron WAS smart enough to figure out that he had to put the link back together himself... But he didn't think to remove the extra spaces in the link (he thought those were part of

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1091210285573462522004-07-30T10:56:00.000-07:002004-08-05T17:09:05.270-07:00

Case #36: 30 July 2004 This one had me so confused, I had to ask some friends on a message board of mine if there was such a thing... "And is the softward Canadianized?" O_o

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1090976662132668952004-07-27T18:01:00.000-07:002004-07-27T18:04:22.133-07:00

Case #35: 27 July 2004   So the Brain Trust Award this evening goes to some dumb bitch who had to have it pointed out to her that the software she purchased from us... ONE YEAR AGO, which she's never used, will not work on her Mac. This is why system requirements are listed on software sales web sites, people...

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1089667174896058932004-07-12T14:17:00.000-07:002004-07-30T11:19:40.676-07:00

Case #34: 12 July 2004 No... I haven't had a lot of good tidbits to post in here lately... But this convo between Esowolf and myself... about one of my problem co-workers... deserves to be here... JL: How long does it take him to test an account? Me: You're asking ME about a guy who was about to submit a trouble ticket using the wrong form until I stopped him? JL: Oh dear lord. Tell me you're

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1086136066523924272004-06-01T17:26:00.000-07:002004-06-01T17:27:46.523-07:00

Case #33: 1 June 2004 "The instructions you sent me are for AOL 9.0! I'm on XP!!!" I've never heard of an AOL XP, have you?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1083983478169469102004-05-07T19:31:00.000-07:002004-05-07T19:34:32.530-07:00

Case #32: 7 May 2004 More idiocy today... So this guy has been sending us nasty emails for about a week, complaining that the settings he sees when he logs into his account are not correct. We've been writing him back, saying that yes, his settings are correct, there must be something wrong with his computer's settings. As the screen shot the moron's sent us shows, HE'S BEEN STARING AT THE

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1083961604643925182004-05-07T13:26:00.000-07:002004-05-07T13:29:58.983-07:00

Case #31: 7 May 2004 Snippets of a conversation with some idiot. Me: I wan't you to run a search for *.doc Customer: You want me to search for "star.doc" Me: ... No. I want you to look for "*", that's Shift-8 ".doc" Can I get an anvil, please?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1083891363314745112004-05-06T17:56:00.000-07:002004-05-06T17:59:17.076-07:00

Case #30: 6 May 2004 So, I send my "favorite" airhead a link for a customer. The information I send her includes a username and password. Airhead: So can I just send him the link, without the username and password? Me: No... you need to send him the login information. Now... why would I give out information like that if it wasn't intended to be used?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1079036691257925762004-03-11T12:24:00.000-08:002004-03-11T12:27:08.466-08:00

Case #29: 11 March 2004 CANCEL THIS SERVICE. THE PACKAGE DID NOT ARRIVE TO MY HOME WITH INSTRUCTIONS ON HOW TO USE THE PRODUCT. Okay... umm.... we're an internet company... we provide an internet service... with software you can download... We don't SEND any packages...

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1078344443078300962004-03-03T12:07:00.000-08:002004-03-03T12:09:32.450-08:00

Case #28: 3 March 2004 From the mouth and tiny brain of the same co-worker who doesn't know her geography... Airhead: This customer backed up his files but they're not on the disk Me: Have him send us the disk. Airhead: How's he going to do that? Me: US Postal Service. Why me?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1078286640824965282004-03-02T20:04:00.000-08:002004-03-02T20:06:09.560-08:00

Case #27: 2 March 2004 I am an intelligent person, but your customer service terms contract left my head spinning. Is this like Bill Clinton's "It depends on what the meaning of the word is is." Only here I'm asking, does it depend on what the meaning of the word free is? In the past couple of days, techno-birdbrain that I am, I Installed (I think) your what I thought was free service, which I

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1077936903948193842004-02-27T18:55:00.000-08:002004-02-27T18:57:30.420-08:00

Case #26: 27 February 2004 My co-worker: Hey! District of Columbia is Washington state, up north, right? Me: No, it's Washington D.C. Doesn't ANYBODY learn geography anymore?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1077591419940046012004-02-23T18:56:00.000-08:002004-02-23T18:58:59.903-08:00

Case #25: 23 February 2004 Dude wanted to know how to get a tangible piece of paper into his computer... ...Without a scanner... After we got him off the phone, we came up with the idea of telling Dude to fold up a piece of paper and push it into his A: drive really hard... LOL!!!

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1074569707269038682004-01-19T19:35:00.000-08:002004-01-19T19:36:32.623-08:00

Case #24: 19 January 2004 Time to start off the new year... Okay so I'm a little late... Quoth an email I found tonight... ""I would like to find a service that lets you send an email to a person's physical address. That way I have a record of that it was sent." Um... have we not heard of "return receipt" people?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1071543002428360652003-12-15T18:50:00.000-08:002003-12-28T13:22:53.030-08:00

Case #23: 15 December 2003 It's been been a while but I came across a GEM this afternoon. One of the girls in the department comse up to me and informs me that this lady on the phone wants to know what happened to her payment. Apparantly, this BRILLIANT woman, realized that since she used the same bank we did, it would be no problem to just get the bank to transfer money from HER account to

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1067028277515943652003-10-24T13:44:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:25:15.950-08:00

Case #22: 24 October 2003 Just when I thought I'd heard it all... "I tried to update my credit card online but I'm confused. The expiration date says 07/31/04. Does that mean that my card expires in July or August? Which month do I choose in the update form?" Um... What do you think, bub?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1065452035654403022003-10-06T07:53:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:25:44.983-08:00

Case #21: 6 October 2003 "I purchased your software. I have downloaded it, activated it, and tried to use it. What does it do?" Okay... you downloaded a piece of software.... worse, you paid $200 to download it and you don't know what it does?!?!

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1063310792812433012003-09-11T13:06:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:26:10.560-08:00

Case #20: 11 September 2003 So one of the reps here gets this call from a guy who's having trouble opening files he receives from us. But when the rep asks the guy to find the file he's having trouble with, the man draws a blank. Apparantly, the customer's never actually received a file from us yet... How does one open a file one has not yet received?

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1062801492793390302003-09-05T15:38:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:26:39.106-08:00

Case #19: 5 September 2003 We received a letter from this customer demanding that we cancel his account. The customer did not send us any information we could use to look up the account. A rep called him to get the credit card number on file so we could close the account. The customer became very hostile and insisted that if we couldn't look up his account by name, he should speak to a

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1062618641405765462003-09-03T12:50:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:27:05.560-08:00

Case #18: 3 September 2003 Customer sends us an email... ONE email, as far as our records can see.... I answer her question... Here is the response I receive: "i want the name of the president and contact information on your company and if you cannot supply it, i will ask our attorney generals office to assist in this matter, Adrianne V try reading all the emails sent to your company if you

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1061840695466434692003-08-25T12:44:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:27:31.390-08:00

Case #17: 25 August 2003 So there's this big long thread from a guy who's been getting some sort of registry error when trying to run the software as a regular user on XP. I was actually starting to get somewhere with this guy but, unfortunately, his reply to my email and the subsequent email exchange seems to have only made things worse... My email: Please do the following ___. Customer: That

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1060701385583763322003-08-12T08:16:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:28:33.140-08:00

Case #16: 12 August 2003 NOTE TO COMPANIES: When hiring people to support a product for business done primarily in English, make sure they have a grasp of the language. Sometimes the lack of basic grammar skills practiced by those who are responsible for representing the company through email correspondence simply astounds me. for example, here's an exact quote from an email that was

JLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1060278274489937792003-08-07T10:44:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:28:12.873-08:00

Case #15: 7 August 2003 I love how people just don't pay attention. Guy writes in because he's having a problem importing his files into our software. The error he receives is a printer error and it's a fairly common one so I send him the instructions on how to fix the printer error... I receive an email yesterday from Guy who is now ranting that his issue has nothing to do with his printer

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1057942070103171492003-07-11T09:47:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:29:01.936-08:00

Case #14: 9 July 2003 Ever notice how Common Sense seems to be a general theme here? Or, rather, the lack of it? For some of our services, we require, as part of our fraud prevention procedures, users fill out an authorization form and send in a copy of their credit card statement (all transactions may be blacked out, we just need to verify the account info). Understandably, there are some

JLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1057182032044146272003-07-02T14:40:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:29:27.966-08:00

Case #13: 2 July 2003 Why do some people call customer service for technical support when it's obvious they think they know more about it than the support people do? An account administrator called this afternoon to get help logging into the website. We have several bugs right now involving the login, so I tried to get more information from her regarding what she was seeing. I *think* she was

JLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1056722787675679762003-06-27T07:06:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:29:58.903-08:00

Case #12: 27 June 2003 Even in the culinary world, one can come across random acts of stupidity. I had been sent back to the production kitchen the other night to check on the other students. One of the chefs was keeping the girl who was plating desserts with me company when they get this ticket requesting one order of Creme Brule... to go... Chef tried explaining to the waitress (who was

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1055865728611993152003-06-17T09:02:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:30:28.013-08:00

Case #11: 17 June 2003 It's really just a question of paying attention to what we tell you and paying us the common courtesy afforded to all people. That's it. That's the secret to successfully dealing with Customer Service. My first call of the day was from a customer who had changed his email address, but had not updated his account information. No biggie. I updated the information and

JLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1055798340074065712003-06-16T14:19:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:30:58.793-08:00

Case #10: 16 June 2003 More fun with credit cards: Me: Do you have the account number? Dude: No I don't Me: What email address did you use? Dude: I don't remember Me: What's the credit card on file? Dude: Okay that I can give you. The last four digits... Me: Sir, I need to whole credit card number Dude: Okay... Honey! I need the card number Dude's Wife: Mumble, mumble, mumble... Dude: Okay

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1054668087545281682003-06-03T12:21:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:31:37.826-08:00

Case #9: 3 June 2003 Okay... so I just overheard one of our reps have to explain to a customer where the Question Mark key was... On a keyboard... I fear for the continued existence of the human race...

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1053010892406292692003-05-15T08:01:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:34:31.326-08:00

Case #8: 8 May 2003 Quoth a customer I just finished speaking to: "I need to update the credit card on my account and the last 4 digits on the new card are XXXX. Do you need the whole card number?" No... I'm just supposed to GUESS what other 12 numbers are! There's only several thousands of combinations I can pick from. Let's see how much time I'm going to spend finding the right one...

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1052406435240151562003-05-08T08:07:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:33:58.856-08:00

Case #7: 8 May 2003 Sometimes, I really wonder if people comprehend the questions we ask them. A customer who was having difficulty installing the software was asked what type of login she has. Three different options were provided to her. Her response was "Yes, that is what I have." Hello? Not a yes or no question.

JLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1052337850392054432003-05-07T13:04:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:33:35.826-08:00

Case File #6: 7 May 2003 More on the sales debacle front. Not only is the sales department setting up accounts without credit cards, they are setting up accounts where people actually do send us a check. BUT because the sales department activated the account without posting a charge, the check payment sits on the account as a credit towards NEXT YEAR'S annual payment. To make things even

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1052252898451483702003-05-06T13:28:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:33:17.623-08:00

Case File #5: 6 May 2003 It's so fun when we screw over our customers. I just spoke with a man who wrote us an email requesting assistance four times over the course of a Saturday and Sunday. (a couple weeks ago). He received no response. (I did find one response, but it was not written until that Monday.) We generally do not respond to Corporate Account email from Friday night to sunday

JLnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1051822044280740272003-05-01T13:47:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:32:49.746-08:00

Case File #4: 1 May 2003 Sales people, being what they are, will do just about anything to cut a deal, get a commision and generally go about screwing the customer. But this is a first: It seems our sales department has taken to intentionally setting up accounts without credit card information. The idea is that if there's no credit card, then the customer will be able to try our service for a

Adriannehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/08934315178396379483noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-5341436.post-1051718367316292672003-04-30T08:59:00.000-07:002003-12-28T13:32:23.360-08:00

Case File #3: 23 April 2003 Non-technically knowledgable people should never try to fix their systems. One customer was sent a list of instructions to uninstall her software by one of our reps. She called us back because she was having difficulty following the directions. Well, it took me ten minutes to convince her that she should not delete a specific DLL file just because it ended in 32.

JLnoreply@blogger.com